Absolute Wannabe

Recently, I went to Walmart. Now I understand that this is probably not a great opening statement, but trust me, ladies and gentlemen, it gets better. Better sentence: this is a big deal because up until that moment, I was afraid of Walmart. Crazy, right? I was afraid of Walmart because I was getting scared and/or trampled. I had only been to Walmart a handful of times and usually, I got lost, but not trampled. The trampling fear comes from those scary stories that come about after or during Black Friday about people who die because they fall and are trampled, when all they came for was the Malibu Snowshoe Princess Dream Castle Barbie and Ken set. THAT MAKES ME SCARED TO THE POINT WHERE I FEEL THE NEED TO WRITE IN ALL CAPS. Anyway, this Walmart trip, I got neither lost or trampled and also found a plethora of different junk foods. Even though it still gives me a little bit of anxiety, I am no longer completely frightened, and may even go back in the near future. As I explained to a f...

Today, I had an off day from school due to parent teacher conferences, so my brother and I decided to go join my mom for lunch at one of our favorite places around town (I've been going there to eat since I was 18 months old. Yeah, I'm dedicated.). As some of you may or may not know, I am a tad bit clumsy. As in, one time I was standing on a folding chair and it folded, caught my legs, took me to the ground with it and exposed my underwear to about fifty people. Yep, that kind of clumsy. Some of you may also know that I get this from my mom, who is so clumsy that her friends used to count how many times she fell down the stairs in high school. Today, mother dear showed off some of her good old fashioned awkward. First, she asked the waitress for a straw, only to find out that they had been placed right in front of her. Then, when we got our food the waitress asked the traditional "How is everything tasting?", to which mother replied, "Good, how about you?"...