I don't know why I was struck to write something today. Nothing really happened. I studied and got some very nice messages from my Dad and some friends, but that's about it. And, while those messages are most appreciated, I don't know that I could write anything very meaningful about them (even if they were very meaningful to me. Did I mention they made me happy?). I guess this is just going to be a product of everything that's been swirling around in my head for the last few...well, months, I guess.
When I'm not studying for school, I spend most of my time watching movies and TV. This may seem like a useless pass time, but it's really been very helpful lately. I've been trying to make this sort of conscious effort to start looking for things in everything I watch that could possibly inspire me. I've seen people onscreen who are fulfilling the dreams they cultivated by watching movies on TV on Saturday afternoons. I know that seeking such inspiration may actually turn into something big. Because of this search, I've discovered great stories and the people behind them, as well as a possible great story of my own.
You see, for the first time in a long time, I've been writing down my ideas, and, little by little, they're starting to come together. What I have may not be very good right now, or even ever, but I'm crazy enough to want to see it through. I've never done that before. I've never had a story, idea, or even real thought that I thought was worthy enough to commit to, but I recently realized that my dreams were just going to be "all talk" until I bunkered down, stopped whining, started watching what people told me was worth watching, and committed to writing down even my dumbest ideas. It's the only way I'm going to be the actor and writer I want to be. I have to study hard, work hard, and dream fearlessly.
That last one is really tough. I'm ridiculously self-conscious, and I've been quick to convince myself that my dreams and ideas are too stupid to believe in. I refuse to settle for that anymore. I refuse to think that I cannot do what I know I was meant to do, but I can't justify that until I take action. So this is me, committing (and publishing it on the Internet) that I'll be a little easier on my dreams, a little harder on my work ethic, and a lot less talk.