Skip to main content

My Dreams May Not Be Stupid

I don't know why I was struck to write something today. Nothing really happened. I studied and got some very nice messages from my Dad and some friends, but that's about it. And, while those messages are most appreciated, I don't know that I could write anything very meaningful about them (even if they were very meaningful to me. Did I mention they made me happy?). I guess this is just going to be a product of everything that's been swirling around in my head for the last few...well, months, I guess.

When I'm not studying for school, I spend most of my time watching movies and TV. This may seem like a useless pass time, but it's really been very helpful lately. I've been trying to make this sort of conscious effort to start looking for things in everything I watch that could possibly inspire me.  I've seen people onscreen who are fulfilling the dreams they cultivated by watching movies on TV on Saturday afternoons. I know that seeking such inspiration may actually turn into something big. Because of this search, I've discovered great stories and the people behind them, as well as a possible great story of my own.

You see, for the first time in a long time, I've been writing down my ideas, and, little by little, they're starting to come together. What I have may not be very good right now, or even ever, but I'm crazy enough to want to see it through. I've never done that before. I've never had a story, idea, or even real thought that I thought was worthy enough to commit to, but I recently realized that my dreams were just going to be "all talk" until I bunkered down, stopped whining, started watching what people told me was worth watching, and committed to writing down even my dumbest ideas. It's the only way I'm going to be the actor and writer I want to be. I have to study hard, work hard, and dream fearlessly.

That last one is really tough. I'm ridiculously self-conscious, and I've been quick to convince myself that my dreams and ideas are too stupid to believe in. I refuse to settle for that anymore. I refuse to think that I cannot do what I know I was meant to do, but I can't justify that until I take action. So this is me, committing (and publishing it on the Internet) that I'll be a little easier on my dreams, a little harder on my work ethic, and a lot less talk. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Talking to Myself in the Mirror

I think it's a pretty safe bet that a lot of aspiring actors/writers/directors/filmy people practice their future Oscar speech in the mirror as kids. I did. Who am I kidding? I still do. It comes with the territory. My mirror talks go, ahem, went (who am I kidding? go) further. Sometimes, I do my makeup while talking to Barbara Walters. Other days, brushing my hair turns into a podcast interview. Most of the time, though, I rehearse what I'm going to say to my heroes. These hypothetical moments are incredibly important, and I can't afford to say anything stupid, so car rides, showers, and mornings getting ready are devoted to preparation. This probably makes me sound crazy. The word "narcissist" may also come to mind. I think one of my heroes would have appreciated both the crazy and the narcissism in this bit of oversharing, though, but we lost her this morning. One of my first posts on this blog was a tribute to Carrie Fisher. I read it over this afternoo

Cameron Crowe Ruined My Life

Believe me when I say that it pained me to type out the title to this post. Cameron Crowe is one of my very favorite filmmakers. To me, a guy who can write teenagers who are real people, really capture the full spectrum of human emotion, and incorporate a great soundtrack into his work is a real genius. Though it initially made me feel warm, fuzzy, and hopeful, a recent late night viewing of 2005's Elizabethtown  ended up making me a little nervous. I realized that Crowe was just like everybody else. Now, this probably doesn't make sense to those of you who admire his work. As a writer and filmmaker, Crowe definitely has a unique voice and vision that helps his work connect with all kinds of audiences. That's precisely the problem. Last week I wrote a post about how movies are only a reflection of life and not actually true to life itself. In the post, I mentioned that filmmakers are just one person with one perspective, and that is absolutely true of Crowe. In Crow

The Film List Project #2: MASH

Did you know MASH was a movie before it was a TV show? I didn't. Maybe that's a well-known fact. Maybe I'm very out of the loop. Anyway, I watched MASH this week. I'm just discovering Robert Altman, the director of the film. He made a movie in 1975 called Nashville , which I sort of felt obligated to watch since that's my hometown. I loved the film, especially because it had so many interesting characters mashed together. MASH  charmed me for the same reason. I've never been one for war films (this is set during the Korean War), but I was fascinated by the band of arrogant, witty surgeons in the film. It really didn't feel like a war film, to be honest. It felt like the Korean War was just where they happened to be. That feeling makes sense when you realize that these men and women are just trying to feel that way themselves. I don't have any personal experience with war, but I have read a few books about the subject, fiction and nonfiction, and